little miss Bossy

(Source: ill-be-your-sweet-iced-tea, via east-coasting-it)

(Source: icanread)

Mom: Now that everyone is gone from the house, your father is lonely and wants to get a dog.
Dad: I want a chocolate lab, but it has to be a girl.
Me: Why?
Dad: because boy dogs will hump your leg. I don’t want a dog humping me all day.

I was frustrated and emotional at work this morning and successfully fought back tears in my boss’ office. 

thirty minutes later

boss: Are you okay, I thought you were going to cry back there?
me: Oh yeah, I’m fine. Just my allergies.

My department is merging with the HR department in my company. To kick off this new transition the HR team invited us on their outing to an outdoor water aquatics center, which included an afternoon of jet skiing, volleyball, booze, a pontoon boat and sun. Did I mention the booze?

Jet Skis
They rented two jet skis and I discreetly avoided riding double with anyone… Umm hell to the no, I would not like to grind my crotch on the back/butt region of any of my coworkers as we bounce up and down on the water at speeds in excess of 40mph. 
Pontoon Boat 
The three men in our department refused to ride on the boat. Roughly 5 minutes into my first trip around the lake I realized why they were so adamant on staying on land. We discussed the act of child birth for entirely too long and I learned scary things that I will never repeat and that will take many years to repress. Also, for those of you who are unfamiliar with a pontoon boat, they reach top speed of 10mph. There was no way I was getting off that boat anytime soon… I’ll take another beer please!
HR is not very PC
My opinion on people who work in HR for a large company is that the stress of upholding a “perfect” workplace image drives them to insanity. They walk around all day upholding the company’s values and standards and suddenly they can’t take it anymore and they burst at the seems. (i.e. excessive boozing, dime bag references, discussions on “attractive” coworkers)  

This should be an interesting transition. Getting older is weird. 

(Source: icanread)

Cheers to being the 7th wheel tonight!!

consisted of three pieces of Texas Toast and chocolate chip cookies. Judge me. 

Some days all you really need to do is to read a book that makes you LOL. Today that book isMy Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me.

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Top 5 blogs I reblogged the most:

• asweetbeginning
• one
• goldenyear
• tomywife
• aballofsunshine